Day 15: Trust the Process
Raise your hand if you’ve been in a situation with someone who you felt constantly looked over your shoulder at your process? If I could raise my hands and feet, I would. I’ve had my fair share of micromanagers and helicopter mentors. I think We can agree that nobody likes to constantly be watched. For myself, I’ve discovered it isn’t always the accountability to the goal that brings me disdain. I really appreciate people that hold me accountable to my passions and showing up as my authentic self. However, the big hold up comes when there is accountability in the process of achieving my goals.
I’ll speak for myself and say I’m pretty stubborn when it comes to completing task a certain way outside of my norms. My trust issues have fostered into this false assurance that my way has to be the best way because I’ve done all the research and polling to make sure. So rightfully so, when someone has a critique to my process, I get defensive, combative and eventually result to either being a villain or victim in my own storyline.
I would take this idea a step further with the quote, “Work in silence. Don’t let them see the process. Just show results.” This quote paired with my trauma response led to years of perfectionism grounded in fear and shame. I would begin projects and start series inspired and full of energy, but because I told no one I started the process due to fear of critiques and unsolicited slander. When I became unmotivated or stuck on a task I would give up. This was basically my cycle of life paralysis.
For the person relating to this vulnerable story let me validate your experiences by saying that I’ve been there and everyday I’m practicing unlearning those mindsets, still. I want you to know correction is a form of kindness. Although kindness may not be “nice” (that word makes me cringe). There is a community of people curated to support and encourage you through kindness. Lastly, I want you to have a clear understanding that somebody is always looking at your process whether you are are hiding it or not. Do yourself a favor, sit perfectionism down and make yourself open to accountability and kindness by showing your process. The vulnerable, courageous and authentic process because then you can receive vulnerable, courageous and authentic correction. What’s worse that being corrected ? Finding out you’ve been working harder than you were ever meant.
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